Banter With The Boss
by Just EmmA.mt
Summary: Jane messing with Lisbon. I really like this genre. This might become sort of a collection of oneshots as many others have.
1. Joking Jane pt 1

**Joking Jane**

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"Come on, Lisbon. Don't be childish. Just do this for me," Jane begged.

Lisbon sighed excessively and rolled her eyes before she closed them. "Who's the childish one here?"

"Hush! Don't talk. You need to relax."

Lisbon shifted on her seat and leaned against the back of her couch. It was already taking her too long. "And now?"

"Ssh, concentrate," he whispered.

"Yeah, on what?" She opened her eyes and watched Jane aiming his own closed eyes at the ceiling. He sighed when he noticed Lisbon wasn't cooperating and looked back at her.

"Oh, Geez, Lisbon. That's the whole point! You have to concentrate on something and I have to figure out what you're thinking. Are you that dumb?"

"Excuse me?" Lisbon exclaimed.

"You are a nitwit."

"Not funny, Jane!"

"It wasn't meant to be funny..."

Lisbon scowled. "Let me make this clear to you. You have exactly three seconds to get the hell out of my office!"

"Or else?"

"I throw you out of the building personally! You'd better hurry, Jane. I'm already at two!"

Jane started chuckling and plumped down beside her on the couch. "Oh, please."

"How dare you laughing?" Lisbon growled. It only made him laugh louder.

"Why are you so easily made angry?"

"Because a certain moron, who is accidentally sitting next to me, is always annoying the hell out of me!" she yelled. "Why am I always your victim?"

"Because you make me laugh, dear." Jane put his arm around her neck and pulled her head towards him. He strengthened his grip and rubbed the top of her head with his fist.

"Aaargh, Jane!" Lisbon struggled to get away from his grip. She gave him a push when he was roaring with laughter even more.

"Look at you!" Jane burst out. "Now you look like you've just had some wild sex or something!"

Lisbon's eyes widened and she turned around. Even in the reflection of the window she could see her hair all tousled. "Oh, Jane," she moaned and blew a lock of hair out of her face. "You idiot," she sneered as she got up and headed for the door.

"I'm going to the ladies room fixing this mess and when I come back you'll find yourself in big, big trouble, Jane." Lisbon pointed her index finger at him warningly, but she couldn't help but smile. Jane walked towards her and smiled in return as he reached out to open the door for his boss.

"Oh really?"

As Jane had expected the team looked up when they came out of the office. Lisbon herself all messed up, hastening towards the ladies room, and Jane... Well, Jane was just smiling brightly as he gained on his boss. He turned to the watchers and gave them a naughty wink when he noticed that the sneaky gesture of zipping up his pants made everyone's jaw dropped.

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**Hope you liked it. =)**


	2. Joking Jane pt 2

**Lisbon's evaluation on Jane's behavior of the previous chap. I needed to write this, i don't know if it's good. Enjoy though!**

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Teresa Lisbon was in her office, sitting at her desk and working in a pointless attempt to catch up with the always increasing load of paperwork. Normally she hadn't the time for this, – to be honest, she didn't make time for it, why would you even try to finish up work that would never be ready? – but it had been a quiet day, and the team had left already, except for Jane, of course.

Damn, he had been annoying today. He had been playing tricks with her all the time and not forgetting: he had made a complete fool of her. At least he thought so. Making people believe they've had sex. Ha! The very thought of it. But Jane assumed he acted behind her back, making that naughty gesture, but she noticed it. She saw it, though kept her mouth.

Honestly, she thought it was quite funny. And come on! Nobody would really think they had done it, right? Everyone knows that she, Teresa Lisbon, senior agent with the CBI, head of the serious crimes unit, would never do things like that. And everyone knows Jane's a joker. So why bother that people might think wrong? They just wouldn't.

She was convinced that even if she told her co-workers personally that she and Jane had something they wouldn't believe it. Well, maybe it did say more about her co-workers than about her, or Jane. Yeah, a strange guy, that Jane. You never knew with this man. But that's just what made him so... Well, is there a good word to describe Jane?

Now she thought about it, he would be the only one from whom she would tolerate this kind of jokes. Anybody else wouldn't have survived it. Oh, no, definitely not. But it surely made Jane and her having weird feelings for each other. It was more than friendship, she had a more intimate connection with him than with Rigsby or Cho for that matter. But it wasn't love either, was it?

And if it was, she had better hide it. A sexual relationship between two fellow members of the bureau is strictly against regulations. Yeah, Teresa Lisbon, senior agent with the CBI, head of the serious crimes unit _and_ walking textbook. A reputation that was, erm, slightly affected since Jane had joined the CBI. She had grown slack. How many times had she bent the rules for Jane's sake? Countless. And later on not only for him anymore. No, for instance, she hadn't reported the relationship between Rigsby and Van Pelt. And she felt happy she hadn't done it, nothing to do with Jane at all.

It kinda meant it wasn't his fault she had started bending rules. Though anybody would say it was. No, she realized, it was wrong. She could not always use Jane as an excuse for her behavior. That would be... Yeah, truly Jane-ish.

But don't misunderstand! She liked having him around. He made work a lot more fun with his presence. He was the sunshine that came after the rain. He was the honey sweet icing on the bitter cake of misery and pain she had to face every single day.

Wow! Hold on, Teresa. You'd better go home quickly and get some sleep! What the hell are you thinking? You've really gone too far. He was _what_ on the cake? Honey sweet icing? Yeah, sure. He was more like the sourish cherry on top...

So, concluded, you can say what you want about Jane, but one thing can't be denied; it was a complete mess inside her head, and _that_ was definitely his fault.

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**Well, i said this might be a collection of oneshots, and it's not really possible anymore since this chap follows up the first one. But i'm wondering if i can put other, not relating chapters into it, or make a multichap story of this. I don't know if i'm able to continue this storyline, but who knows. I hadn't expected to write this chap either, so... Help!**

**(TBC?)... =S**


	3. Touchy Tess

**I had updated this story before on another account, but I don't use that one anymore. So I put it into the collection of stories with this genre ( I know, three chapters is not really that much, but it might expand some day)**

**So, a little story about Jane and Lisbon. He annoys her, again...**

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**Touchy Tess**

Jane walked towards Lisbon's office and opened the door. He watched his boss sitting at her desk. Little drops of sweat appeared on her forehead. As a madman she was typing on the keyboard and clicking with her mouse.  
It was obvious that when she got out of control of something, she got furious. This time it happened to be the computer that had to suffer under her rage.

"Knock, knock," he said with a grin when she didn't pay attention to him. He paused a second.  
"Come on, Lisbon. Your turn. Say: who's there?"

"Well," she began, her eyes still on the screen, "that can only be my pain-in-the-ass-consultant, am I right?"

"No, no, you're playing it wrong!" He dramatically fell down on his knees acted like the world was falling apart.

"For Heaven's sake, Jane!" she snarled at him. "Stop being so damn childish and help me if you have nothing else to do."

He got up - disappointed he couldn't make her smile by doing an act - and walked behind her to see what she was doing. "What's the matter, my dear Lisbonbon."

"I can't login somehow," she said through gritted teeth and slapped the screen in frustration. "And '_Lisbonbon_'? What the hell was that, Jane? You call me by my name, without any addition, understood?"

"Yes, Teresa." He couldn't resist it.

Lisbon sighed and rolled her eyes before she turned her head to face him. "If you can't behave properly, then go and get Van Pelt for me, will you? Maybe she can fix this."

"Then promise you'll stop banging the keyboard and hitting the screen. The poor thing. As if it is his fault you don't know how to treat it well."

"Jane!" She tried to scowl, but she couldn't help but smiling.

"I'm highly disappointed, Lisbon," he pouted. "Can't you come up with a nice nickname for me? 'Lisbonbon' was rather good, I thought," he said before he headed towards the door.

"Alright. How about... 'Jackass Jane'? It fits you perfectly, doesn't it?" she grinned. "And now get Grace in here, please!"

"Oh, very funny!" He halted on the threshold and turned. "My turn, uhm. 'Mighty Midget'. I like that one. Or what do you think of 'Terror-striking Tess'? Which one do you prefer?"

"Okay, you take that back, Jane! I may be small, but I'm definitely _not_ terror striking!" She growled.

"No, you're right, not funny. Let's keep it on 'Touchy Tess' then." He gave her one of his charming smiles when he noticed that her eyes started to flash fire and closed the door behind him.

"_JAAANE_!"

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Van Pelt jumped up at the yelling voice of her boss. What was going on? She sighed in disbelief when she saw Jane approaching her with _the_ grin on his face. Oh, no. What did he do this time? She looked up at him as he tapped her on the shoulder in passing her desk.

"Good luck, Grace."

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**I love to write and read stories like these. Has anyone a new idea? I'd love to hear some suggestions for another chapter. Unfortunately my inspiration level has dropped to zero :(**


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